Memo no 7 to the Bible God aka Hebrew God

Gawd, your followers say you are omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent and everything else superlative they can think of. Before we discuss whether any of these “omni” attributes can be meaningfully evaluated or interpreted in the real world, I would like to ask the same, stale question that has been asked umpteen times in the past: where is the empirical proof that you exist? The fact that I am writing to you at this moment? Obviously, this cannot be the evidence. My writing may be the result of my imagination, like the imagination of people who have written about Zeus, Apollo, Hera, Venus, Odin, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the Five-Tailed Monkey, etc. Do you agree that there is no fact that can be adduced to prove your existence or, for that matter, your non-existence? You do? Good, that is indicative of intelligence. Some people argue that even if you exist you can’t be both omnipotent and omniscient; being omniscient presumably means you can predict with 100 per cent accuracy anything or everything that is going to happen, including, for example, the future actions of every single entity including of course those of your own; but being omnipotent you can do whatever you want, including of course doing or behaving differently from your predictions or expectations, thus making your predictions or expectations uncertain and fallible. I think this argument has a certain logical appeal, would you agree? Not sure? Well, think over it. We can come back to this later.

One philosopher has argued that while you may be omnipotent, you have your limitations: you can’t, for example, be expected to do what is considered to be logically impossible; you can’t create a married bachelor or a spherical cube, or a stone so heavy that you yourself can’t lift. A bachelor is an unmarried human male; a cube is not spherical and that’s just common sense. But what about the miracles narrated in the Bible, for example, separation of the Red Sea to allow the Hebrews to walk across its width on dry ground, feeding of five thousand people with two loaves and five fish, resurrecting of people who had already died, etc? Can they be considered as logically possible events? All these so-called miraculous events violated no less than a law of nature. You allegedly created these natural laws, didn’t you? Yes. But you broke them, to satisfy your fancy? Yes. So if you can do what you like, including breaking your own laws, what is this silly argument about your omnipotence being limited to what is logically possible? Don’t you think this is stupid? Yes. But don’t you think that it is also stupid to think of the miracles reported in the Bible as logically possible events? No, because these miracles were the result of my omnipotence. Some of you humans are so stupid as to be ignorant of the real meaning of omnipotence. Humans can argue for all they like, but I can do what I want, when I want and where I want. Gawd, if you can do what you want, how about doing something for the good of humanity, like preventing any disasters, natural or otherwise, from occurring. I can’t, such events are subject to the laws of nature. But Gawd, you just mentioned…. Do you know what you are saying? Silence.

Gawd, some people say you are the ultimate Geezer with a lust for young female virgins. Is that true? Well, just read the Bible, can’t you?

PS: This was a piece posted in another forum [Atheism v Theism] some years ago.


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