Memo no 1 to Allah aka Bible God

Allah, my first formal address using “Allah”, right? They say you have a number of aliases: God, Yahweh, Al-Malik, Al-Quddus, As-Salaam, The Ass, Nincompoop etc. But let’s stick to “Allah” for time being, ok? Good, thanks for your cooperation.

They say you are the Creator of the universe and you created our first parents, Adam and Eve, who, until their eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, were allegedly moving about naked in the so-called Garden of Eden. Presumably, with your divine artistry, Eve was created with a beautiful body which no doubt was a daily feast for your geezer eyes. Since you created them naked and they were moving about naked, how come some of your followers today have implemented stringent rules requiring Muslim women and girls to be attired with headscarf and long black cloak? On Mar 11, 2002 in Mecca fourteen schoolgirls died from burns or smoke asphyxiation and more than 50 were injured as a result of being trapped in their burning school building. It appears that members of the Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice (CPVPV), also known as Mutaween, were hindering rescue efforts by locking the doors of the school from the outside and barring firemen and others from entering the school because the girls were “not properly covered”, and the Mutaween did not want physical contact to take place between the girls and the civil defense forces for fear of sexual enticement. Whether the casualties could have been prevented had the firemen been given access to the school building is a moot point. But being omniscient, you know the answer. In Nov 2002 in Nigeria some Muslims ran amok after a newspaper in Kaduna published an article questioning Muslim groups that had condemned the Miss World pageant, scheduled for Dec. 7 in the Nigerian capital, Abuja. These groups expressed their displeasure over the imminent staging of the pageant, saying it “promotes sexual promiscuity and indecency.”  What sexual promiscuity and indecency? Parading in swimsuit? These Muslim groups were sick, mentally sick, but they were your worshippers, nonetheless. Didn’t you caution them that they should go for psychiatric treatment? But what appeared as the spark that triggered mob actions was this poser in the article: “What would Muhammad think? In all honesty, he would probably have chosen a wife from among the contestants.” These followers of yours then rampaged through the streets and burned churches and the newspaper’s office. In the wake of the rampage at least 50 people died and 200 were injured. What would Muhammad think? Most probably drooling all over, would you agree? If he were given a choice of having one, ten or all of the beauty contestants, what would it be? All, you say? What a smart ass! Eh, you or Muhammad? It’s got to be one or the other; possibly both sharing the same honor. But what is clear is that Muhammad allegedly had more than 8 or 9 wives at one time. I can see the smirk on your face but let’s agree on one thing – you are as guilty as your bunch of hooligans or as lustful as your so-called last prophet, right? I have to concede, your points are hard to refute. Good, thank you, Allah. Maybe it is not accurate to label you as a nincompoop. How about “psychotic delinquent”? This description, apparently, has already been used by an author for the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. But, hey, that is supposed to be you, right?

PS: This was a piece posted in another forum [Atheism v Theism] some years ago.

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